So it’s happened again. Another human being, whom I have not spoken to in forever, has thought it appropriate to approach me and ask these absurd questions. Plz don’t.
You might remember back in January the trending topic #MakeMeFeelAwkwardIn7Words. Like, even if you can’t remember it: don’t strain yourself trying to, it’s not relevant. I don’t usually join in with these trending topics, as I usually prefer to come up with off-the-wall tweets like just posting the word “gushing”, that has no actual relevance to anyone else in the world.
However, I did join in…
So have you got a girlfriend yet! #MakeMeFeelAwkwardIn7Words
— Rhys Kelly (@Rhysaphine) January 23, 2016
I put these, because this collection of 7 words bring up so much rage within me that I could become an actual danger to other adults, object, small children, etc around me. Out of the blue this week, I had the (lack of) privilege of bumping into someone I haven’t spoken to for a long time. Guess what question they asked me?!
“So have you found yourself a girlfriend yet, Rhys?”
I don’t ask you if you’ve gotten divorced yet, so why are you enquiring about my relationship status?
I have never understood the need for other people to know about others’ relationships. I’m sorry, but it’s really not any of your business. Do I not look happy enough on my own? Clearly you have never seen me with a “share” box of chocolates/bag of crisps or a “tear and share” garlic bread. Imagine having to actually utilize the share element of these products? God no.
Anyway I can assure you, person who shall remain anonymous, that I am perfectly fine alone; and that you’ve been uninvited to the wedding for being so intrusive. Wait for the pics to come out on Facebook, fucker!
Enjoy your week, guys!